Have you ever watched someone complain about their Wagyu beef being slightly overcooked while you're eating cup noodles? That's what it feels like hearing certain NPB fans talk about their team's 'struggles'. So let's fire up the stats grill and do a proper roast of these 'suffering' fanbases, with a side of cold, hard numbers to really bring out the flavour.
A discussion on Reddit on the underdoggedness of NPB teams has spurred me to look into who the longest-suffering teams are. To limit our scope, I'm sticking to 2014-2024, just the last decade. I mean, that's long enough for most fans to have a sense of belief or lose it completely.
If you are looking to support a new team, love the underdog or just want to win a pub argument, I hope this little run-through helps you out.
To start, I have created a points system to assign value to different achievements for each team. I have only included one individual award, the Sawamura Award, to count toward the total. Here's how I've scored things:
- Japan Series Win (5 points)
- Pennant Win (4 Points)
- Japan Series Loser (3 Points)
- Playoff Appearance (2 Points)
- Sawamura Award Winner (1 point)
- 6th Place (-1 Point)
I value a pennant win more valuable than just appearing in the Japan Series. I've included the Sawamura Award Winner as well as there is a stricter criteria than MVP which is usually given to the player on a pennant-winning team. For fun, I've also decided to subtract points for 6th place finishes, because it's just depressing.
Now who can claim to be the most hard done-by group of fans over the last decade? The most starved for success? Well, let's work through the candidates.
Hawks fans crying about success is like a billionaire complaining about the price of caviar. Six Japan Series and 5 Pacific League Pennants in a decade? Give me a break. 'But we haven't won since 2020!' you may whine, conveniently forgetting you hoarded six Japan Series titles in seven years like dragons sitting on a pile of gold. BRUH.
The Giants haven't won a Japan Series in the last ten years (I know, let me play the world's smallest violin!) but they've still claimed four Central League pennants. Sure, they choked twice in the Japan Series, but they're in the playoffs practically every year. I mean, you can complain a little given your 'we should win everything' history, but maybe try being grateful for once?
Ah yes, the eternally 'suffering' Tigers fans, who've somehow convinced themselves they're baseball's greatest martyrs. Never mind being consistent playoff contenders and finally grabbing that sweet, sweet Central League pennant and Japan Series in 2023. But please, tell me more about how tough you have it while selling out every home game. Always a bridesmaid, but at least you make it to the altar!
The
Buffaloes started this period fairly poorly, but the past five years have been a wonderful mini-dynasty. With four Sawamura Award winners (Three of them were Yoshinobu Yamamoto, but anyway) the Buffs get some bonus points to go alongside their pennant wins and their Japan Series Victory in 2022. The Buffaloes however finished 6th three times in 2016, 2019 and 2020 before their zero to hero triple-pennant run. What? Expecting some snark? Have some respect for a real transformation.
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The
Carp have not had much to write home about since Yoshihiro Maru and Seiya Suzuki left the team. Much like the Buffaloes, the Carp had three dominant years where they raced to the Central League pennant. Maru and Suzuki were big parts of that with some comparison being made with the legendary pairing of Shigeo Nagashima and Sadaharu Oh in terms of OPS generated. After Maru left for the Giants in 2018 and Suzuki not long after leaving for the Chicago Cubs in 2020, a 2023 playoff appearance is about the only thing the Carp have achieved since. That 40-year Japan Series drought though hurts. Still, it was a nice run, right? Guys?
Baystars bros, I know the 90s mostly sucked. The early 00s sucked too. But you're doing okay. Under Rami-chan the Baystars became a semi-regular playoff team famously making it to the 2017 Japan Series where they were drubbed by the Hawks. The Yokohama have been in the playoffs more often than not in the last decade and finally cracked their 26-year Japan Series drought last year. A 6th place finish in 2015 is really the only major blip in the last 10 years. Must be nice finishing out of the cellar with some regularity, right, Swallows fans?
The
Swallows are equal with the Baystars in terms of despair but the amount of yo-yoing they do could put a troupe of Yo-Yo Ma impersonators performing yo-yo's tricks to shame. The Swallows have finished bottom of the barrel four times in the last ten years but have somehow also claimed two Central League pennants and a Japan Series in the same span. Genuine superstars like Tetsuto Yamada (arguably one of the best ever NPB second-basemen) and Munetaka Murakami (most single season Japanese homerun hitterer) have been highlights and have led them to titles. Here I thought they'd be done with that out-of-nowhere 2015 season, but they just had to make it two consecutive Japan Series against the Buffaloes in 2021 and 2022. You're a disgrace to cellar dwellers everywhere!
Down a rung from the rest, the Fighters have not had much of a fighting chance since Ohtani-sama left the team to not make the playoffs with the Los Angeles Angels instead. However, with the suave Shinjo at the helm, things are looking up. The 2016 pennant and Japan Series win get to live in the heads of fans while the team is undergoing an encouraging regeneration. That being said, they've made the playoffs in four other seasons so 50/50 on A and B-Class years is a good kind of mediocre. More hot than cold for a team from the frigid north, at least there's a chance for hope most years.
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Is it worse to be almost there, or actually make it sometimes? The Marines have had six playoff appearances in the last decade, and none of those runs have amounted to anything. I thought the playoffs were a crapshoot? The lads from Chiba have one sixth-place finish in 2017 but have hovered around an A-Class season for over half of the period we're looking at. The Marines have gotten to the final round of the Climax Series three times in 2015, 2021, and 2023, but just couldn't reach that final... satisfaction. Talk about frustrating. All that buildup, all that tension, and then... nothing. Their fans must be getting pretty tired of all this edging toward success without ever getting there. If they were ever to make a Japanese reboot of In Bruges Colin Farrel's famous quote would be 'Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like the Marines.'
The
Lions, while still sitting in despair, it's a different kind of despair. The roaring Lions of the 80s and 90s have been put to pasture while the new pride still can't figure out what it's doing. If you're a Lions fan, you might look at the stability of the Marines somewhat forlornly. Apart from the Hotaka Yamakawa powered Pacific League pennants in 2018 and 2019, the Lions have been mere pussies of the willow that is the Pacific League. Each time the team failed to get to the Japan Series and even in two more playoff attempts, nada. More meh than yeh, there is some hope around the corner but it's been rough the past decade and the Golden Lions Dynasty legacy probably makes it hurt even more.
BRUH. And I mean this nicely, Eagles fans, are you guys okay? You're modern, you use analytics, you have money, what's up? Three playoff appearances in the last ten years is all NPB's newest club have to show. It's as though the team wilted with Masahiro Tanaka leaving for the Yankees. The life essence was plucked while the rest of the fruit died on the vine (RIP in Peace Takahiro Norimoto). The last playoff appearance was in 2021 and not one time in the last ten years have the Eagles progressed past the first round. The magic that Senichi Hoshino cast to lift the Eagles to Japan Series victory in 2013 has disappeared. You Eagles need some success to feed on soon. I feel for you guys.
It must be nice, huh? Playoffs. Hope. Yeah. That would be great. Dragons fans have choofed down hopium every season since Hiromitsu Ochiai left the team wallowing in a pool of highly paid veterans on the downturn. Each year has been filled with questions of possibility. What if Ricardo Nanita is the second coming of Kosuke Fukudome? What if Aristides Aquino is Tyrone Woods incarnate? What if Shuhei Takahashi and Ryosuke Hirata could tonk 15 homers? Every. Single. Year. We look for a ceiling as high as Mount Fuji for this team and it's about as high as Mount Hiyori (look it up). It has never come together. The Dragons have only finished higher than fourth place once, in 2020, when the playoffs were reduced to the top two teams because of COVID-19 considerations. That one year, that should have broken the drought, was taken away. They have otherwise finished in last place four times in ten years. So, we got nothing. But maybe this year Hosokawa hits 30 homers. Maybe Yumeto Kanemaru leads the rotation with Hiroto this year, MAYBE, Jason Vosler finally ends the dearth of good-hitting international position players? 2025 is our year, right? Third place? Please. I'm begging you.
Lastly, for a bit of fun, I'm now going to give you a list of teams with the score now weighted by years between 2024 and the last Japan Series Victory to give you a further tale of suffering. I am taking away one point for every year between 2024 and the last team Japan Series win. The biggest score here is -40 for the Carp whose last win was in 1984. Every other team has won the Japan Series at least once in the last 20 years.
That's right, the Dragons still somehow end up at the bottom of the table. Despite the Carp having the longest Japan Series drought at 40 years, the small bits of hope in between their three-peat make up for some of the suffering.
Hope you enjoyed this sardonic take on fan suffering. All a bit of fun from a fan of a team that can seemingly only ever punch up.
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